Okay so; more Dead Things thoughts.
Firstly, on Jonathan and Andrew, and their place within The Trio:
1) They are always squabbling with each other. Not friends. Only just allies, united by Warren
2) Andrew is continually jockeying to be #2 in the group, with Jonathan as the extra. Jonathan is just happy, or content, to be included. Warren is using them both. Andrew acts from infatuation on Warren, which becomes clearer and clearer as the episodes progress; and was especially apparent to me when first watching the show this season, as an LGBT person myself.
Following this mode of thinking; when they first cast the spell, Jonathan looks anticipatory, Andrew just a little nervous; not actually thrilled by the idea of being able to have any woman. There's probably another reason why Andrew hasn't been a hit with girls thus far in his life.
3) When J + A are acting ground control, Andrew, in a tone of nervous excitement, says 'we can have anyone we want', notably not any woman or girl. This is a common tactic among LGBT people, especially young or closeted, using gender neutral terms to dodge the issue of sexuality and having to lie or fake interest in the opposite sex.
4) When Katrina comes in, french maided up, Andrew only talks about how 'cool' it is that the device worked. Jonathan openly expresses a wish to have had one when he was in highschool, to be able to do these things to other girls.
5) Jonathan walks around Katrina, appraising her body from from every angle, while Andrew stands nervously by. He nervously adds, to Jonathan's sexually-charged comments, that he guesses she's 'cute' which offends Warren into going on a rant about all of her 'assets', which Andrew does not really react to or become enthused by.
Altogether, Andrew does not like being put in the same box as Jonathan - a social outsider and someone who all throughout the highschool that they all attended - together, presumably - was seen as a friendless loser. Andrew, like Xander, is a nerd, and - although the writing is patchy with this, is going through some sexuality issues, but does not see himself on a par in the social hierarchy with someone like Jonathan. There are various levels of using each other within The Trio, which makes for an interesting comparison and counterpoint to the relationships within the Scoobies - and their associates - this season.
Now, I don't completely excuse Andrew for being an accessory to murder and rape, but I do think seeing and keeping in mind the LGBT angle retains imporant perspective on his actions and also why
Now, considering the Spuffy/Buffy elements in this episode, I agree with an earlier poster that I don't read Spike as actually being on the balcony with her in that scene.
From the way it's shot, with him as a devil on her shoulder, and from the huge difference in how he talks to her now compared to how he talked to her earlier in the episode, are two reasons. I wouldn't put it past Buffy to be fantasizing though, rather than it just playing on her mind - and even that act playing into the darkness she feels - something like that isn't something 'good girls' do. Does the fact she's at The Bronze, somewhere she went as a young teen, make it worse, too? I think the fact that Buffy keeps reading in - or hearing - innuendo in everything her friends say to her, also suggests that her mind is preoccupied with this constantly at the back of her thoughts
I symapthise with Buffy a lot. One view I've not seen raised so much is that she lives for control; specifically, her own control. She rejected the Watchers' and Kendra's theory-based modes of doing things. She rejected temptation from Faith, and from others earlier on. She would not let Riley put her in a box, and she refused to let Giles dictate to her that Dawn must be killed, instead finding another way.
Now the enemy is a side of herself that she's never had to deal with, never known - or admitted - existed - , and that may have surfaced sooner if not for the general support of her friends. To be honest, I feel like what she's having now with Spike is something she would have been sorely tempted into, but resisted, during the mid-season gap between S2 and S3, and in Anne, when she lived alone, was similarly depressed, and had only herself to depend upon. As a single girl living in a rough, run down part of town, especially... I'm not sure if anyone's brought up that comparison timewise yet, of a time when Buffy was isolated and everybody else that she could think of was in a different place to her emotionally.
This is a girl who morally (through Joyce's parenting) and through her calling as a Slayer has been told and reinforced over and over again that the world is black and white, good or bad, and that she must hold to that view in order to do her job. Finding shades of grey within those she came across and in her friends was bad enough, but finding them inside herself - that's even harder.
The dichotomy is exemplified by her two colleagues. Kendra, a good girl, and Faith, a bad girl. Everything that Buffy castigated Faith for, she is now seeing shades of in herself. As if what Faith did and how she acted were just behaviours, rather than inherent characteristics. It's breaking her worldview. And to be honest, I think that's something a lot of - especially women I think, but people in general - can come up against when they find themselves in a new or trying situation. Humans are really bad at judging others by their behaviours rather than looking for reasons and excuses for those behaviours, and seeing the action rather than the person.
Buffy isn't losing - or finding! - herself, but she feels that she must be, because of the way that she's been raised to look upon and see the world around her and that she lives within.
Tara puts it wonderfully "it's not that simple." to which Buffy replies "it is! It's wrong! I'm wrong!" To accept otherwise is too hard.
It's also interesting that it's the lesbian she confesses this to. Tara will have been through her own trials and tribulations, discovering that what and who she is, can be right, and natural, even though many people would dismiss it offhand as inherently wrong and evil. What Buffy (ironically, given the show's remit) needs right now is to sit down and have a good talk about feminism 101 and ways to live life outside of adhering to strict and repressive binaries.